On A Plane
8 March 2026





On a plane, can’t sleep. Airpods out of charge. Wired headphones making a strange noise.

The fasten seatbelt sign dings.

A flight attendant speaks in her most budget airline cheer.

“The captain has turned on the ‘fasten seatbelts’ sign. We will be crashing shortly.

Those of you affiliated with divinities are encouraged to start praying. We have a priest on board for any last minute baptisms. Only Roman Catholic, I’m afraid.

If any of you wish to text your loved ones, connection is unstable right now, but there’s a chance your messages will land moments before our crash.

We apologise for the inconvenience. Please refrain from attempting an orgy which might upset the other passengers.

Thank you for flying with us.”