Edward vs Jacob and Depp vs Heard
6 May 2022


Alright. Let’s talk about this. But first. Some ground rules. Here’s how I feel. Heard is not innocent. Depp is also not innocent. I feel that theirs was a shit relationship, that they’re probably both okay people but gave the worst of themselves with each other. Some of us have had relationships like that (well, thankfully nothing like that but you know what I mean). And that for the sake of their lives and humanity they should just stay away from each other and both undergo a lot of therapy, but… I am horrified by the memes I see on my feed.

I do not particularly care who is MORE at wrong in this situation, as they’re both just humans in the wrong and the verdict of this case will not change how I feel about the world… But, memes? Really? I don’t get where the humour is. This is a case about sexual and verbal abuse, assault, violence. What part of this is funny? That a girl might have done it?

Does Amber Heard cancel the hundreds thousands million of women who have been victims of sexual assault? Of course not. Even implying that is offensive to me.

Then why is this case not treated with the same seriousness as the other assault cases? I don’t remember many memes defaming or making fun of Harvey Weinstein, or others in his situation. I did see “not all men” bullshit bubbling up, however.

And I do remember memes on the dark side of Hilary Clinton many moons ago and on how her intrinsic evil made her a worse candidate for a job she was qualified for than a guy who wasn’t qualified for that job.

You people see a woman in a place unusual to women and their flaws magically appear through their skin. Like the spots that are bound to appear on anyone’s face in light of an important event. And, what’s worse, you turn them into jokes. Is it science, magic, evil, I don’t know. But it’s definitely misogynistic bias.

We have plenty of evidence that shows that Depp was AT SOME POINT abusive too. But people still sign up for team Depp.

Like when you knew that Edward abandoned Bella and Jacob was there for her, but you know, deep down you still felt that you belonged to team Edward. The fact that he was also white(r) probably didn’t harm (bias, bias everywhere). Only, this isn’t teenage Hollywood fiction, it’s a real trial, featuring all you can eat abuse - verbal, emotional, physical, and mental health struggles.

And still somehow people treat it like lighthearted pub conversation. And make memes. I’m sure it was (and still is) a traumatic event in both of their lives. But people make memes. Because when Johnny compared her to a witch (in that delightful let’s burn her and fuck her corpse text) he got something right: the witch hunt never ended.



PS. I head a school notebook full of printed pictures of Johnny Depp growing up, I get it must be hard having been Johnny Depp and suddenly finding yourself any average 58 years old, but, listen to me Johnny - what you need is therapy and maybe to get a dog, not botox, alcohol, Dior Sauvage or more Pirates of the Caribbean.